


Skipping Stones

by quilleth



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quilleth/pseuds/quilleth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The semi chronological story of awkward mage Elaine Hawke and Anders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strange Bird

_They are a danger! They’ve come to take you away before we’ve accomplished our goal; do not let them!_ Anders spun on his heel, brandishing his staff as he snapped, “I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?” He glowered at the small group expectantly, leaning on his staff for support.

The girl leading the group jumped slightly, her brown eyes wide and startled, but she regained her composure quickly, shaking her head slightly as she held out her hand. “Hawke. Elaine Hawke, pleasure to meet you as well, serrah,” she said with a faint smile, raising an eyebrow as if to say _Manners, serrah, tsk tsk._

The boy to her left glowered at him and snorted saying, “Speak for yourself, sister.” He hefted the large sword sheathed on his back and glared at Anders, stepping forward so that he was slightly in front of his sister. 

The girl, Hawke, frowned at him and hissed, “Not now Carver, please.”

“You may call me Anders,” Anders replied, lowering his staff to shake her hand. He studied the girl for a moment; she looked much like any other refugee, cleaner maybe, but she still had that too skinny, underfed look. And yet, she seemed rather pleased with herself, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Then he spotted the staff strapped to her back and felt the mana flowing from her grasp and relaxed slightly. _Just because she is a mage does not make her worthy of trust. Do not let your guard down._

“I mean you no harm; we just want to talk,” she said, holding her hands up in a pacifying gesture.

The dwarf at her side cut in, “We’re interested in getting into the Deep Roads. Rumor has it you were a Warden once. Do you know a way?”

“Did the Wardens send you here to bring me back? I’m not going! Those bastards made me get rid of my cat. Poor Ser Pounce-a-lot; he hated the Deep Roads,” Anders snapped.

“You had a cat…named Ser Pounce-a-lot? In the Deep Roads?” Hawke asked, giggling.

“He was a gift from the commander, a noble beast. He almost got ripped in half by a genlock once. Swatted the bugger on the nose, drew blood too,” Anders replied with a fond smile. “The blighted Wardens said he made me too soft; I had to give him to a friend in Amaranthine,” he added, frowning

Hawke replied, “That’s awful! Why would they think that?” She shook her head and shrugged. “What kind of cat was he? I had a cat once, a little brindle named Belladonna; she died several years ago though. That one wouldn’t let me get another.” She nodded her head towards the young man she had called Carver. 

“Oy! That’s not true! You know we couldn’t get another cat because of Schmendrick,” the young man snapped back.

“Oh pssht! Don’t be ridiculous Carver; Schmendrick loved Belladonna,” Hawke replied, waving a hand dismissively at her brother.

“Um, who, or what, is Schmendrick?” Anders asked.

“Our mabari,” Carver said at the same time as Hawke said with a smirk “The magician!”

“Ugh, knock it off, sister,” he snapped, rolling his eyes. “We’re not here to talk about pets.”

She shook her head at her brother, and muttered “spoilsport” before turning back to Anders, who was now watching them with a mixture of amusement and wariness. “He’s right, sadly. I’m part of an expedition to the Deep Roads. Any information you might have could save lives.”

“I will die a happy man if I never have to set foot in the Blighted Deep Roads again!” Anders replied. “I’m sorry but I can’t he…although… A favor for a favor? You help me, I help you… Does that sound fair?”

“Of course! Whatever you need,” Hawke replied, smiling.

Anders chuckled, “Well, aren’t you just eager to help. You remind me of those little doves outside my window that are up and cooing at the crack of dawn, ready to greet the world and force everyone else to as well.”

“Elaine! We don’t even know what he wants and you just agree to it blindly?” Carver snapped, staring outraged at his sister.

“Your brother does have a point; I could be asking for the Knight Commander’s head on a pike,” Anders replied, smirking at the girl.

“I…if that’s…I mean… that would be awfully hard to do and killing really isn’t my thing,” Elaine stammered, twisting the cord to her belt between her hands as she felt her cheeks burn. _Maker but he’s handsome when he smirks like that_ , she thought.

“Don’t worry; what I need your help with is far less bloody, and hopefully easier to achieve.” 

“He’s obviously joking Hawke,” the dwarf chuckled.

“I know that Varric. Of course he’s joking,” Elaine replied with an unsteady grin. 

“If you knew that then why are you suddenly all flustered,” Varric replied in a whisper, making Elaine cringe and glower at him. She swatted him on the arm before turning back to Anders.

“What is it you need my help with?” she asked.

“I came to Kirkwall to help a friend. A mage; a prisoner in the wretched Gallows. The Templars discovered my plan to free him. Help me bring him to safety, and you’ll have your maps,” Anders replied.

Hawke watched him pace with wide eyes. “You want to make your friend an apostate?” she asked.

Anders scowled at her in response. “You’re an apostate, aren’t you? As am I.” He ran a hand through his hair, glowering at the dirt floor before looking back at her. “That’s such a weighted term! Yes, Andraste said magic should serve mankind, not rule it, but I’ve yet to meet a mage who wanted to rule anything. It goes against no will of the Maker for mages to have the same freedoms as other men.”

“Forcing mages into servitude is not the way to prevent the rise of another Imperium,” Hawke replied with a stern nod.

Anders looked startled. “Hmm, that’s not the response I usually get. Perhaps we will work better together than I thought.” He smiled at Hawke, the warmth reaching his eyes.

Hawke returned the smile and said, “I help all my fellow mages. Maps or no maps, I will help you.”

“Elaine! We’re risking the anger of the Templars if you do this!” Carver said, loudly enough to startle a patient who had been sleeping on a cot.

“If you’re so worried, you can stay at home with Mother and Uncle Gamlen, and I’ll bring Schmendrick along in your place. Whether or not you approve, I’m going. Besides, we need those maps or we’ll be stuck living with our uncle for the rest of our lives,” Elaine snapped, rounding on her brother with a wicked glare. “And do be a little quieter; you are in a clinic, not a battle arena! Be mindful of the patients this man is trying to help.”

“You really think I’m going to let you go alone? Gee, thanks, sis,” Carver replied, rolling his eyes. 

“You know Junior, she wouldn’t be alone. The trusty dwarf and scribe would be there too,” Varric cut in with a little bow.

Elaine glowered at Carver until he mumbled, “Sorry for yelling,” in Anders’ general direction. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Anders, who was watching them with a guarded expression. “I’m sorry. Normally we get a long far better than this. Anyway, what’s your plan?”

“I’ve asked Karl to meet me in the Chantry tonight. Meet me there before midnight, and we’ll make sure that whoever is with us, we’ll all walk away free,” Anders said in response, a determined look in his eyes.

“Then we’ll see you there!” Elaine replied with a smile. She turned and followed the rest of her small party back to the entrance, where she turned and watched over her shoulder as Anders wearily began helping another patient. She sighed as she watched him. _He ought to rest after using that much magic. It’s a wonder he doesn’t collapse from exhaustion; I can see it in the sag of his shoulders. I wonder how long that poor man has been running, living like this. First to leave the Circle, and then the Wardens? I must be missing something. No one is that lucky_ , she thought, tilting her head to the side as he smiled reassuringly at his patient.

Anders looked up from examining a young woman with what appeared to be a severely sprained ankle and noticed Hawke watching him from the doorway, a puzzled little smile on her face. “Erm, was there something else that you needed, Hawke?” he asked.

She flushed a deep crimson at having been caught staring and stammered, “I…uh...No. No, I was just, just leaving!”

“Heh, alright then. See you later,” Anders replied with a small wave, which Elaine returned before scampering around the corner to catch up with the others. _Strange little dove, that one_ , he thought with a slight chuckle and a shrug, turning back to his work to keep his mind off his plan.


	2. Bears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning of the Deep Roads, Elaine has insomnia and Anders has nightmares. Plus a bit of indulgent fluffy spell teaching.

Elaine flipped from her back onto her right side for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. Pulling her blanket over her head, she tried to ignore the ringing in her ears and the annoying thrum reverberating through the ground and into her chest. _Whatever treasure we find here best be worth it,_ she thought. _A week to get here was bad enough, but now, who knows how long in the deep roads proper and my own personal sound track to go with it_. She let out a breath in annoyance and struggled to sit upright in her bedroll. Glancing around the dimly lit cavern, she noted with bitterness that she was the only one awake; even the hired man left on guard duty was slumped over at his seat, snoring softly. _Figures, she thought, briefly pausing in her mental grousing to watch with some interest as Anders writhed in his sleep, flopping onto his back and muttering. Elaine smiled to herself; Hmm, maybe I’m not the only one who can’t sleep. Misery does love company doesn’t it?_ She twirled a strand of hair around her finger idly, staring longer than she meant to, then tilted her head to the side as she watched Anders roll yet closer still to the edge of the little platform they were camping on. _Maker! He’ll fall right off at this rate. Fall and split his head on a rock or worse! It would be unkind not to wake him,_ she thought, goading herself into wrapping her blanket around her shoulders like a cape and struggling to her feet.

She padded quickly across the dais that the camp was on and stood near his side, hesitantly. “Anders?” she whispered as the mage whimpered in his sleep. “Anders!” she hissed again to no avail. She huffed a stray strand of hair out of her face and knelt down beside him, gently tapping him on the shoulder. 

He jolted out of a deep sleep, eyes glowing blue as he stared blindly at her for a moment before recognition sunk in. “Hawke! What are you doing?” he asked, staring at the petite mage, slightly astonished that Elaine was sitting on her haunches, watching him mildly, a look of concern in her deep brown eyes, and not one of fear that he would have expected; so many flinched when they saw Justice. 

The girl adjusted her grip on the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders as a faint tinge of pink crept over her cheeks. “I’m sorry to wake you so rudely, but you were about to roll right off the edge. I figured it would be unkind to not at least try to warn you.”

Anders’ hand slid on the edge of the shelf as he pushed himself to a sitting position. “Huh, and so I was. Thank you, Hawke. I suspect that would have been a rude awakening indeed,” he said with a faint smirk, which made the blush on Elaine’s cheeks deepen. 

“Are you alright? You didn’t seem to...well, that is I thought maybe… Oh never mind; I’ll let you get back to your sleep,” Elaine stuttered, turning to head back to her little corner of camp. Being the only female among the group was a blessing in the privacy, but could also prove a somewhat lonely venture. Even Carver had camped half the camp away from her, although that wasn’t all that surprising. He may be nineteen, but he still acted like a nine year who thought his older sister had cooties.

Anders’ eyes darkened slightly, “Did I wake you? Being here, in the deep roads again…It…brings back unpleasant memories. I’m sorry if...if I disturbed you.”

It was Elaine’s turn to be surprised. “What...Oh! No, I couldn’t sleep anyway. I can’t sleep down here. My ears won’t stop ringing and there’s this annoying thrumming,” She frowned as she stood, getting out of the way so that Anders could move his bedroll away from the precarious position it was in.

He glanced over his shoulder at her and for the first time noticed just how vulnerable she really was, standing there, wrapped in a blanket, looking like miserable, wet kitten. An apostate from birth, she’d spent her life on the run; being sedentary, especially in a city like Kirkwall put more strain on her than living on the run. _Perhaps that’s why she insists on running amok, saving people and running errands. A way to keep her sanity, akin to my many escapes from the tower_ , he thought, smiling sympathetically at her. He sat down and motioned for her to sit next to him, which she did somewhat hesitantly. 

There was a moment of awkward silence where the two mages sat next to each other, waiting for someone to say something before Elaine said, matter of factly, “Bears.”  
Anders blinked at her, “What?”

“Bears,” she said again, nodding her head. “When I have a bad dream, it’s usually about bears. Very hungry bears chasing me through the woods back near Lothering, and I’m only in my smallclothes and have no mana or equipment whatsoever.” She shrugged nonchalantly as Anders bit a lip to keep from chuckling. “I usually wake up before they catch me.”

“And why would you be in your small clothes, being chased by bears in the middle of the woods?” Anders asked with a leering smile.

“When I was about eight Father took me into the woods with him to gather some herbs. I’d wandered off and came across a bear cub and decided it was my new best friend,” Elaine replied, giggling.

“You do realize that where there’s a cub, there’s an angry mama bear lurking,” Anders asked with a grin, nudging Elaine gently with his elbow.

“I do now!” Elaine returned, flicking a small pebble at him. “I was eight, I’d never seen one before, and it was cute. Long story short, the mother bear chased after me, Father froze it and we ran back to the shack we were staying in as fast as we could. I cried for a week because I was afraid the cub would die because Father had distracted the mother. And I’ve had that nightmare since.” She shrugged and blushed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” she admitted. “Mother always told us it would make us feel better, talking about our dreams, but I know for a fact that Father never spoke about the Circle. He dreamed about it sometimes. I could tell, but he’d never tell us anything about it. I’ve always wondered what was so terrible about it, but now…well it’s obvious now.” Elaine stared at a spot on the skirt of her robes, picturing her beloved father. “You remind me of him a little,” she said, smiling shyly at Anders. “You have the same determination.”

He blinked at her, somewhat bemused. “You’re lucky you know,” he replied. “Most mages don’t even know their parents, let alone have someone who loves them to teach them and keep them from harm.”

Elaine smiled at his impassioned enthusiasm and said, “I know.”

He grinned apologetically. “I’m sorry. You’re hardly the person who needs reminding of the troubles mages face, especially since I do believe you were giving me a compliment.”

“It’s alright; I admire your dedication. Besides, if we don’t take up the cause, who will? It’s already clear that no one will do anything for us if we don’t help ourselves first.”

Anders beamed at her. “Exactly! We have to make them care! We must show them that we deserve the same freedoms; that we aren’t the monsters they think we are.”

“Mmmm, that’s easier said than done,” Elaine mused. “How does one reverse centuries’ worth of prejudice, especially when nut jobs like Meredith are in charge. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was an abomination of…I’m going to say pride.”

“Really? I would have placed her as rage myself.”

“Well is it possible to be both, a double abomination if you will? She’s certainly crazy enough.”

“A double abomination…where do you come up with these things, Dove?” Anders asked.

Elaine blushed and replied, “I have a lot of free time.”

Anders laughed, “Have you ever thought of taking up a hobby then? I hear knitting is quite popular.”

“Knitting’s not really my thing,” Elaine replied, smiling at the goofy grin on Anders’ face. 

“What about new spells then? It seems to me that you pick up on those rather quickly.”

“I have been trying. I’ve gotten much better at spirit healing, with your help. But it’s not like I can go to the market and say ‘Oh hi there, do you have any books on magic?’ And Father could only teach me what he knew, and I didn’t have the aptitude for the same magics. Elemental magic for example, is not my strong suit.”

“Hrmm…well, did he ever teach you how to do a proper spell shield then?” 

“No, and I don’t see how I’d learn one n- Oh.” Elaine’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re going to teach me here?”

“Why not? Unless you’d rather a different teacher,” Anders replied with a wink. “Besides, it will help with the lyrium.”

“The lyrium?”

“The thrumming you were talking about earlier is from the lyrium. You’re not used to being around it in its raw form. It doesn’t affect them because they’re not mages, but you and I can sense it. It’s a trick the other mage Wardens taught me when I was in Amaranthine. It doesn’t get rid of it, but since lyrium is magic in its raw form, it creates a sort of dulling barrier.” 

“Dull enough to sleep?”

Anders nodded.

“Maker, yes please, or I’ll end up having to be carried through the rest of this blasted trip!” Elaine replied emphatically, sitting up straighter and listening to Anders with rapt attention.

He chuckled slightly and gave her an indulgent smile, which made the drumming in her ears start in anew. “The first thing to know about a spell shield is that it’s not infallible. In battle, your mana will drain much quicker than at rest, leaving you open to more damage and without a way to defend yourself. I think you probably could have gathered as much, however. Anyway, you’ve seen the spell shields before. Those blood mages who were kidnapping Templars used them. Knowing what to expect will help you focus your magic.”

“Giant bubble, got it,” Elaine replied.

“Good; now focus on that as you call up the arcane energy. Aaaand…voila! Spell shield,” Anders said, casting a shimmering shield around himself and let it fall just as quickly.

Elaine frowned as magic sparked and fizzled in her hands. “Well crap. Apparently arcane magic isn’t one of my strong suits either.”

Anders frowned at her. “You’re just learning the spell, Elaine. You can’t judge your aptitude on one attempt.”

“Right. Okay, here goes,” she replied with a sigh. _All I want is some peaceful sleep. Is that so much to ask?_ She thought, shutting her eyes and scrunching her face in concentration. A tiny wave of magic shimmered in the air before fizzling out again. She peeked at Anders with one eye. “Did I do any better that time?”

He cocked his head at her “Well, um, sort of.” His heart thumped in his chest for some mad reason, and he found himself unable to tell her that her second attempt had been no better than her first. _**This is not right. A distraction** …but… **no! We must focus on our cause!**_ Justice attempted to drive his attention away from the girl who was looking at him with one eye brow raised and a smirk on her lips.

“You, serrah, are a terrible liar,” she said, sticking out her tongue.

“Heh…third time’s a charm?” he replied with a sheepish little chuckle.

Elaine pouted in response. “Fine, but if this doesn’t work, then I’m just going to find all the lyrium in this place and, and, well I don’t know what I’ll do, but it won’t be pretty!”

Anders laughed and one of the sleeping guards stirred at the noise. “All fear the wrath of the mighty little primal mage,” he said, tugging gently on one of the braids framing Elaine’s face, noting the delightful way the contact made her cheeks turn a rosy shade, and the shy shrug of her shoulders.

Elaine tried the spell a third time, and when it fizzled out yet again gave a frustrated groan. “Nnngh, all I want is to be able to sleep!”

Anders turned thoughtful and after a moment of thinking (during which, Elaine grumbled about what use it was having magic if it didn’t help her sleep), he came up with an idea. “Tell you what, Hawke. Bring your bedroll here, and I’ll cast the spell on both of us. If you’re close enough I think it should extend just enough to block out most of the annoyances for the night,” he said, grinning at Elaine.

She flushed crimson and stammered out a response, “Oh but…I wouldn’t want to impose. That is, I appreciate the thought, but…”

“Just go get your bedroll,” Anders said with a small laugh as he shoved Elaine gently to her feet. He watched as she scrambled to grab her things, gathering them in a wad in her arms, tripping over her blanket on her way back. Justice did not like the idea and Anders winced as his head began to ache from the spirit’s protestations manifesting. He helped Elaine lay out her bedroll perpendicular to his and settled back down as she curled up on her side, cocooning herself up in her blanket. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Elaine replied, tucking an arm under her pillow and watching in admiration as Anders cast the spell with hardly an effort. “Oh!” she gasped as she felt the spell wash over her; the thrumming dulled to little more than the sound of a heartbeat. She smiled and murmured "Sweet, sweet quiet. Thank you Anders." She peered at him and gave him a shy smile, her eyes bright but tired.

"The pleasure, Dove, is all mine," he replied with another smirk, and he had to try not to chuckle as she buried her face in her pillow to hide her blush. He wrapped himself in his blanket and sprawled out on his back.

"Anders?" Elaine whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about Ser Pounce a Lot."

He did chuckle then, folding his arms underneath his head. "Well, let's see," he sighed, closing his eyes. "He was a little orange tabby kitten when we found him. I should say the Commander found him, really. It was raining and the courtyard was still filled with debris from the darkspawn attack. I wasn't really paying attention at first; Oghren was making some comment about my robes again," he paused and smiled to himself as Elaine giggled softly. "I didn't realize she'd even picked him up until we were back inside after dinner. She kept that little kitten in a pocket of her robe all through dinner, and then tracked me down in the great hall later when I was studying some books." He sighed softly. Part of him longed to return to the Wardens and the camaraderie the group offered (and the prospect of getting his cat back helped), but he knew he was far too wrapped up in things in Kirkwall; people needed him. The refugees needed him. Hawke needed him, and if he was perfectly honest with himself, he needed her and the refugees just as much. To help him remember why he was fighting, if nothing else. He turned on his side as he heard a slight snuffling sound. "Elaine? Are you still awake?" he whispered, and when he got no answer, added, "Sleep well, love."

He woke several hours later as the sounds of the rest of camp permeated his sleep. Yawning, he rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows. He smiled slightly at Elaine, still sleeping curled up on her side, her braids in her face fluttering slightly as she breathed. He reached out to tuck them behind her ear, chuckling slightly. It was then that he noticed the dark shadow hovering over him. He looked up.

"What are you doing to my sister?" Carver snapped, arms crossed over his chest and a glare that would rival Fenris' plastered on his face.

"Good morning to you too, Carver," Anders replied with a cheeky grin. "For your information, I cast a spell on your sister to help her sleep last night, and I was just checking if it was still in place. In case you didn't notice, Elaine hasn't exactly been having the easiest time of things down here."

Carver grunted in response and eyed Elaine, the expression on his face softening slightly. "Yeah, well…Wake her up. Bartrand wants to head out soon," he said before stalking back to the small caravan at the opposite side of camp.

Laughing to himself, and ignoring Justice's confusion, Anders sat up, prepared to tackle the day as he let the spell shield gradually fall.


	3. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roughly a year after the Deep Roads expedition, Elaine gets news about Carver, Anders gets ambushed and discovers a new appreciation for pancakes and jam.

"There's a letter for you on the table, at your leisure," Bodahn said, smiling at Elaine as she walked into the estate, scuffing dirt on the mat near the door. "Your mother also wished you to know that she is planning for a party and wishes for your input. She said something about a suitor as well."

Elaine wrinkled her nose, "Ugh, not more finding me a suitable husband talk I hope," she asked.

"I'm afraid so, messere."

"Well, thanks for the warning, Bodahn," Elaine smiled in return, walking to the writing desk, avoiding glancing into the study where she knew Leandra sat poring over guest lists. The party wasn't exactly a secret, but she had other things on her mind. It had been nearly a year since she returned from that dreadful trip into the deep roads, bought back the Amell estate and still, there had been no word as to Carver's fate. Every night she had the same dream; Carver sick with the taint, falling into a pool of nothingness, where she could neither see or reach him, his "Then…I guess this is it," echoing around the cavern until it drove her mad.

Which is why a letter with an official Gray Warden seal on it had her frantically tearing the seal while simultaneously trying to control her shaky hands so the letter wouldn't rip in two. She skimmed the letter in a matter of seconds, took a deep breath, and re read it. "Mother," she whispered. Shaking her head she shouted, "Mother! Mother! He's alive!"

"What were you saying darling?" Leandra asked, stepping out of the study as Elaine barreled into her arms.

"He's alive, Mother! Carver, he's alive! Look!" Elaine thrust the letter into her mother's hands, dancing from foot to foot with joy. "I have to go tell everyone! I should be back later!! I...I can't believe it!" She kissed Leandra's cheek and ran out the door out into the streets of Hightown.

She was in front of the clinic before she had even had time to pick a direction to go in. Somehow, telling Anders first felt like the right thing to do; after all, had it not been for him, both she and Carver would have perished in the deep roads and Mother would have been alone. Panting from running the whole way, she walked into the clinic, which was empty except for Isabela, Anders, and a couple of the assistants.

"Hawke! You…look terrible. What, were you wrestling someone out on the road just now?" Isabela asked, her hand on her hip as she took in Elaine's disheveled appearance.

"No...It's just…This letter came, and he's alive!" Elaine said, gasping for breath, clutching a stitch in her side. 

"Here, Elaine, have a glass of water," Anders said, concern in his eyes as he handed her a chipped mug full of water. "Then tell us what you're babbling about now."

Elaine chugged the water as though she had never drank anything before. Running was certainly not high among her skill sets. She licked her lips and smiled. "Thanks. And I was saying that a letter came from the Wardens, and he's alive!"

"Who?" Isabela asked, smirking at Hawke's frustrated expression, enjoying flustering the mage, even though she knew perfectly well to whom Elaine was referring.

"Carver, my baby brother whom you so shamelessly tried to seduce. He survived the joining, whatever that is!! " Elaine and Isabela squealed together in delight, hugging each other.

"That's great news, Hawke," Anders replied, smiling. She deserves to be happy about this, he thought. So he kept the true meaning of becoming a Warden to himself. 

"I know!! Isn't it!" Elaine replied throwing her arms around his neck. Instantly she realized what she had done, stiffened and turned beet red. "Oh my…I..I am so sorry! I... I've got to go tell Varric and Merrill still. Um, see you two around." She stammered before she turned and fled the clinic.

Anders and Isabela looked at each other. "I…what just happened?" Anders asked, his neck tingling from where Elaine's delicate fingers brushed against his skin. _Why did she run? I thought…no she must truly be afraid of me._

"Well, if you ask me, a whole lot of nothing," Isabela sulked, mentally ruling out a joyous event fueled snog fest for Hawke and Anders off her list of friend fictions. "Now are you going to look at my rash or not?"

Elaine knocked on the door, her cheeks still pink in embarrassment, and dare she say it, shame. She was not generally one for such rambunctious displays of emotion, and now she'd gone and made everything even more awkward between her and Anders. She sighed as Merrill opened the door. "Hawke! What a pleasant surprise. What's the matter? You look like someone just kicked a helpless puppy."

"Oh Merrill, I've really screwed things up now!" Elaine wailed as Merrill pulled her inside her house. "You do awkward things all the time, maybe you can help me."

"Um, I'm not sure..." Merrill started, fetching a couple of mismatched mugs and a bottle of wine off a cluttered shelf as Elaine sat at the table.

"Oh I meant it in an endearing kind of way. At least you ask if hugging someone in elation is acceptable or not before you do it instead of knowing better and doing it any way," Elaine slumped over in the chair and rested her head on the table.

"What are you talking about Hawke? I haven't hugged any one (not lately anyway)," Merrill replied sitting across from the blonde mage in despair and passing her a mug of sweet white wine.

"No, I did. I went there to tell him that Carver's alright and I hugged him without even thinking about it, and then it got really awkward and I left. I thought maybe you could commiserate with me." Elaine grinned somewhat sheepishly at the brunette elf, whom she had grown rather fond of. Merrill certainly was eccentric and she often spoke out of place, but she had the uncanny knack of pointing out where others could have done differently in such a way that you never felt like an idiot. Elaine may not approve of blood magic, but since when had one's magical practices made them who they were?

"Oh I'm sure Varric doesn't mind. You two are quite close after all," Merrill smiled, sipping wine from a tankard.

"It wasn't Varric I hugged Merrill," Elaine groaned. "It was Anders."

Merrill's eyes widened and she nearly spat the wine back into the mug. She swallowed with some difficulty before coughing out, "Oh, well, I guess that does change things."

"Now you see my problem?" Elaine asked, sighing, running her finger around the rim of the glass Merrill set in front of her.

"Yes, I do. You're lucky that spirit didn't take over him and smite you or something."

"Oh! I didn't even…Ugh now I feel like even more of an ass!" Elaine wailed again. "What am I going to do Merrill? I can't face him again. It was bad enough before I went and invaded his personal space."

"Well, what did he do or say? Maybe he's not as bothered by it as you think?" Merrill offered helpfully.

Elaine's cheeks turned bright pink again. "I don't know; I left before he said anything."

"Oh Hawke! You're almost as bad as Aveline!"

"I know! But I can't help it! He's turned me down before, but he's so selfless and kind and handsome and…hmmm. Every time he looks at me my knees turn to jelly. And I swear there are moments where it almost feels like he feels the same, but then he turns away or scoffs and I feel like a foolish little girl." Elaine frowned, her brow furrowing. She'd never been a big romantic; that was Bethany, who was always bringing home different boys to meet their parents. There had been a couple of boys back in Lothering that Elaine thought she was in love with, but this was different.

"You know I'm not really the one to ask for love advice, but, it's market day. We could go shopping here and see what kinds of things you miss up in Hightown to distract you. And then we'll go tell Varric, before Isabela does and they add it to their friend fiction." Merrill smiled at Elaine, clearly meaning the best.

Elaine beamed, "You're a genius Merrill, let's go! I told mother that I'd get her more of that elderberry jam if I was ever down here for market day again. Looks like I'll have my chance to get some more now!"

It was well after dark before Elaine, Merrill and Varric made it back to the Hawke estate. Varric insisted on coming with Hawke, who insisted that Merrill not go wandering on her own. They had all had a few drinks at the Hanged Man to celebrate and were laughing merrily as they entered the house, ignoring the sounds of clashing steel from a few blocks over.

"There you are darling! I was so worried. Your friend made it sound like you were in trouble," Leandra hugged Elaine as the trio walked into the foyer.

"Of course I'm safe Mother. Why wouldn't I be?" She replied, shaking away the remnants of the buzz floating through her mind.

"Your friend was here looking for you. He said something about you running away and Templars, and when I told him you weren't here, that I hadn't seen you all day, he swore and took off down the street," Leandra replied.

Elaine's blood ran cold, "Who was here looking for me? Tell me Mother!"

"The mage. The blonde one who runs the clinic. The one you moon over when you think no one is around. I forget his name," Leandra replied, worry etching deeper into her features.

"Anders!"" The bottle of wine in Elaine's hand crashed to floor, crimson liquid oozing over the cobblestone floor. "What in Thedas would he be doing in Hightown after dark? He's never out after dark! We've got to find him! I'm sorry mother, I love you. I'll be fine. C'mon guys." And she raced back out the door, followed by Merrill and Varric, who muttered, "Smooth, Blondie." 

"Oh that must be the fighting we heard on our way in," Elaine said, trying to tell which direction the sounds of clashing steal and shouts were coming from. "Oh I hope he's not done something foolish!" she added starting off to her right.

"Um, Hawke, the fighting is this way," Merrill said, pulling her in the opposite direction.

They rounded the corner on a group of five bandits, snickering over their prey. Blood was splattered over the cobblestones and walls of nearby buildings.

Furious, Elaine snarled, "Leave him alone," her voice so close to a growl that it surprised even herself. She raised her hands, letting sparks cascade from them, before lifting them over her head and raising a tempest of electrical currents around the bandits who, caught off guard, shrieked in pain.

Varric fired a volley of arrows as Merrill cast a vulnerability hex on the man who seemed to be the toughest. It was a few moments before Elaine realized their opponents weren't just some sword and dagger toting bandits. As she felt the mana drain from her hands a second time in a matter of moments, she noticed a sixth person, standing hidden in the shadows, preparing to cast another spell. "Shit! Varric, take out their mage! Over there in the shadows. That's why they're not going down!" She swung her staff in an arc flinging a basic attack at the opposing apostate's direction.

"Is there anything else you can do Hawke?" Varric asked, kicking one of the bandits around him in the kneecap. "Bianca and I are a little busy here."

"Merrill, how are you holding up," Elaine shouted out behind her, fishing in her pouch for a lyrium potion.

"I'm fine Hawke," the elf replied, draining the life from one bandit as she prepared to hex the opposing mage, who had thrown up a hasty spell shield against Elaine's basic attacks.

Finally procuring the vial she was looking for, Elaine downed the contents, wrinkling her nose at the taste and froze one of three men surrounding Varric. With a grin the dwarf slammed his crossbow into the man's chest, effectively shattering his life. "Nice to have you back in action," he said, firing a volley of bolts into one of the men, sending him staggering into a bush.

Elaine winked in response, and having caught the opposing mage off guard, sent a bolt of lightning at the woman. The woman shrieked and froze in place, Elaine blasted her with a winter's grasp and the woman fell, a tormented look on her frozen features.

"That's one more for me; how many have you got Hawke?" Varric shouted over his shoulder as he felled another bandit.

She laughed, "I can't believe you keep a tally! But since you asked, I think we've only got those two…erm, make that one, left," Elaine replied, pausing as Merrill's vines tore through one of the remaining rogues. Elaine smiled devilishly as the last bandit blanched in fear.

"Well that was a bit of overkill, really," Merrill said as two different spells and a volley of bolts left the man decimated.

"They deserved it," Elaine snarled as she knelt by Anders' side. "What kind of horrible people team up six to one on an unsuspecting person? Anders? Anders can you hear me?" she asked, lightly pushing stray hair out of the healer's face. She bit her lip in concern; there was a lot of blood and Anders seemed to be slipping out of consciousness.

He groaned in response, "Elaine?" He asked, glancing at her through half opened eyes.

"Yes I'm here. What were you doing out here?! Never mind, you're wounded and I'm here to help. I'm not as good a healer as you, but I'm not completely hopeless," she set her staff down, prepared to star t a healing spell when Anders grabbed her hands.

"Templars…Lowtown…I…"he muttered, wincing as he tried to get to his feet before falling unconscious.

"Shhhh, don't worry about explaining your stupidity now," Elaine whispered a wry smile on her face. 

Merrill shifted her weight from foot to foot, glancing around, "Hurry Hawke, I don't think you've got much time."

Elaine bit her lip again in concentration. Spirit healing was still rather new to her and she often struggled to cast the spells successfully. Anders was so pale and covered in blood, but she still couldn't help but notice how handsome he was. "I'm going to try to heal you now; hang in there Anders," She said, adding silently, "Don't leave me." She rested her hands over the wound in his side. Thankfully it was a slash wound and not a direct stab or she'd have an even more difficult time. Stab wounds usually involved mending organs and connecting tissue and so much more, and she just wasn't that good yet. She closed her eyes and focused, picturing the blood clotting and the wound healing. When the pale blue light glowed from her fingertips she opened her eyes to watch the wound turn from a gaping cut to an angry looking scab, which oozed blood slowly. It wasn't what she'd aimed for, but it was better than nothing. "That's all I can do for now. I haven't the foggiest idea how we'll actually get to the clinic now though."

"It's obvious; we'll have to carry him, or wake him up and you and Daisy will have to help him get there," Varric said with a shrug.

"Why will I have to help?" Merrill asked.

"Because, you're closest in height to Hawke, that's why. It'd probably make it much harder if I helped; forcing Blondie to walk all hunched to one side."

"Oh, I suppose that does make sense," Merrill replied.

"I can wake him up, I suppose, but we'll have to move as quickly as possible, and Varric, I know I don't even have to ask, but you'll watch out for…others won't you?" Elaine asked, absently smoothing hair back from Anders' face.

"You can count on me Hawke." He replied, hefting Bianca.

Elaine cast revival quickly, and watched anxiously while Anders came to. He groaned and opened his eyes, "Bloody bastards, ugh." He rubbed the back of his head and looked around. "Hawke! I…" he started as he noticed Elaine hovering nervously by his side, and he struggled to get too quickly to his feet.

"Careful! I'm not the healer you are, Anders. Nor do I have any injury kits with me," Elaine replied as Anders winced and grabbed his side. She got to her feet and held out her hands, "Here, let me help you." 

Butterflies flitting through his stomach as he met the petite woman's gentle gaze, Anders grasped Elaine's wrist and she gently pulled him to his feet with a little help from Merrill. "Ugh, even my bruises have bruises," he bemoaned. He felt the ground sway as he tried to step forward.

With a grace defying her usual self, Elaine was at his side, a steadying hand on Anders' forearm. "Careful, you've lost a lot of blood, and I'm afraid it's quite a long way back to Darktown. Do you think with Merrill and I to lean on you'll be alright?"

"I… I think so," Anders said softly, the residual taste of another mage's magic lingering in his mouth. He decided vaguely, that Elaine's magic was reminiscent of sunshine in a meadow, and resolutely decided never to say so aloud.

"Then here; put your arm around my shoulders and we'll get going," Elaine replied, gingerly wrapping her left arm around his waist and grasping his hand over her should with her right hand. Thank the maker it's dark out, she thought as she felt her cheeks flush. Merrill shot her a knowing smile as she mirrored her movement on Anders' other side, and Elaine felt her face turn even hotter.

They arrived at the clinic without any further incident, though they were all exhausted and Anders was slipping in and out of consciousness again. Varric swung the door open, stowing a set of lock picking tools in his pocket as the others followed him in. "Alright Blondie, tell me you sleep somewhere other than out on these mangy cots," the dwarf said, looking around.

"The back...chamber is…mine," Anders gasped, his face ashen as he slumped between Elaine and Merrill.

"Just a little farther then," Elaine muttered. Anders was slight of frame for someone his height, but a deadweight between her and Merrill, and Elaine's stature was better suited to lounging around with a book than carrying her companions. She and Merrill eased Anders onto the cot in the back room, which was surprisingly cozy compared to the rest of the clinic. A worn trunk sat at the foot of the cot, which was covered with a patchwork quilt in shades of fiery colors that made Elaine think of autumn leaves. There was a small writing desk littered with papers and stacks of shabby books. Had she not been so worried, she would have liked to poke around all the corners of the room, and thumb through the books everywhere. As it was, she heaved a sigh. "Well, I'm pretty sure I know where the bandages and salves are kept." 

"Do you need help, Hawke? I'm sure I could find something useful to do," Merrill asked, hovering by Elaine's side as she wandered to the main room of the clinic and began searching shelves.

"No Merrill. I think maybe you and Varric should just leave. I mean, I'm the only one here who knows healing," Elaine replied, spotting a jar of elfroot salve which she snatched up almost greedily. She moved to another shelf and began digging around for bandages.

"If that's what you really want, Hawke," Varric said, standing by the door to the clinic with the crossbow held at the ready. "C'mon Daisy I'll walk you home." Elaine nodded her assent, and grabbing an armful of clean bandages, led the way back to Anders' chamber, followed closely by Merrill.

"Are you sure you'll be alright? What about earlier" Merrill asked.

"I'll be fine Merrill. It's not like he's in any condition to talk now anyway," Elaine replied. "Now go on before any other bandits, or worse Templars, catch you on your way back." She smiled sweetly at the elf, who sighed and turned to leave. As she heard the clinic door shut behind her two other companions, Elaine set her load down on a small table next to Anders' bed. There were a few trinkets on it that her fingers itched to examine, a couple of pendants and a much worn folded piece of paper among them, but she repressed the urge and turned to assess the damage. 

Elaine cocked her head to the side as she walked to Anders' side and knelt next to him on the bed. Sure enough Anders was muttering to himself in his unconscious state. _It sounds like he's talking about kittens. Figures. He's probably the only man I know who would take solace in kittens at a moment like this. Well, let's get to work then_ , Elaine said to herself, a small smile playing over her lips. _Kittens, of all things, she thought_ , shaking her head as she methodically began removing the mage's robes. 

Anders woke to the tantalizing smell of baked _something_ and what sounded like a woman humming a Fereldan folk song. He was somewhat surprised to find himself in his bed as he most certainly did not remember getting there. He was far less surprised by the bandage wrapped neatly around his torso; he did remember getting attacked by bandits, but after the dagger pierced his side, he remembered very little. A gentle hand pushing the hair back from his face, shouting and taunting faces, and bandits falling to crossbow bolts were the only memories he could dredge to the surface. He was certain that Varric knew nothing of healing or of wrapping bandages and sighed with mild relief. Telling stories was one thing, but he'd be horrified to find that he had gangrene because someone thought it wise to let Varric tend to his wounds. _Must have been one of my assistants_ , was the only logical conclusion he could think of, and satisfied with that thought, he pushed himself upright and swung his legs over the side of the bed, wincing slightly as a twinge of pain near his right kidney reminded him to take things easy. He wandered to an old copper mirror, admiring the handiwork of his assistants as he unraveled the bandages to examine his battle wound. A fresh, vivid pink scar, still flecked with dead skin stretched diagonally from just below his ribcage to his hip. He stared at it for a moment, somewhat mystified at how nicely the gash had healed overnight; looking around he found what he was looking for. Someone had set the little jar of elfroot salve and fresh roll of bandages on the little table next to his bed. They had also filled the basin with fresh water and laid a fluffy little towel next to it.

_It must be Lirene_ , was Anders' thought, although he was somewhat mortified at the thought. The woman would often stop by the clinic to bring him food and clean. It was almost as though she felt because he took care of the refugees, that she needed to take care of him. _Silly really_ , he thought, splashing his face with water. In light of his injury, he decided to forgo shaving and dried his hands on the towel. He smoothed a thin layer of salve over his injury and set his mind to finding a shirt to wear. His robes were nowhere to be found, but his boots were set neatly by the door. Thankful at least, that he still had his pants on, he dug a clean but worn tunic out of his trunk. Slinging it over his shoulder, he pulled on a fresh pair of socks ( _Maker, when was the last time I changed my socks?_ ) and his boots. He pushed the curtain aside and started to pull the shirt over his head. He froze with the shirt pulled halfway down his torso, his eyes wide in shock, a delicate blush creeping over his cheeks as he stared at the woman hovering near the fire, a mixing bowl in hand. The blurred and foggy memories from the previous night slammed into clarity and he gasped slightly. Elaine Hawke was standing over the fire in the clinic, not Lirene or one of his assistants.

Hearing his intake of breath, and sensing someone watching her, Elaine whirled on her heal and nearly dropped the mixing bowl. "A-Anders!" she squeaked. "You're awake much sooner than I thought you'd be. How are you feeling? I left the salve and some bandages on your bedside table. Oh! And I washed and mended your robes as best I could. They should be dry by now; they're over there. I'm afraid your under tunic may be a little beyond hope in terms of a stain. I tried my best but…" With every line she spoke, Elaine could feel her cheeks getting hotter and hotter until she broke off abruptly, trying to not ogle too obviously. It had been much easier to deal with a nearly naked Anders when he was unconscious and babbling about kittens and rainbows, than when he was standing not ten feet away and gawping at her. 

"Elaine! What are you doing here?" he asked, snapping out of his reverie just enough to finish pulling his shirt down. He half believed he was dreaming. There was a smudge of flour on Elaine's cheek, and the way the heat had made her hair frizz out wildly had guaranteed that Elaine Hawke cooking him breakfast, or any meal really, would make its way into the daydreams that Justice already did not approve of.

She tilted her head to the side and gestured with the mixing spoon as she spoke, "You were attacked by bandits in Hightown and were pretty badly injured, so we brought you here after I tried to heal you. Someone had to stay here to make sure your condition didn't decline, and since I know healing, it only made sense that I would stay." With a soft poff she dropped the spoon back into the bowl, a little cloud of flour wafting over her robe.

"Who's 'we'" Anders asked, a little apprehensively. So I was right to be mildly concerned about gangrene…

"Varric, Merrill and I," she replied, skillfully flipping pancakes onto a plate from the makeshift griddle she had set up over the fire. The smell filled Anders' nose and his stomach growled.

"Maker! Thankfully you decided to stay and not Merrill," he replied, sinking into a chair too close to the fire for Elaine to concentrate.

"She's not that bad, Anders," Elaine chided, making little heart shaped puddles of batter, which, frowning at, she hurriedly filled into sloppy ovalish shaped cakes. "And just what were you doing up in Hightown anyway? You hardly ever leave the clinic at nighttime unless Varric coerces you into playing Wicked Grace at the Hanged Man or I'm dragging you along on some quest."

Fixing her with an earnest look that made her heart race, Anders replied, "I was looking for you."

"You were loo- wait! Why were you looking for me?!" Elaine asked shocked. The spoon hung loosely in her hand, dripping batter on the floor.

Anders' cheeks flushed slightly and he dropped his gaze, picking at a thread on the hem of his tunic. "I had heard something about Templars running raids in Lowtown, and after you left here earlier, no one had seen you. The people at the Hanged man said you'd already left, but your mother hadn't seen you. I was afraid you'd been caught. You do tend to draw a lot of attention to yourself for a mage." He looked up at Elaine, whose lips were parted slightly, her cheeks flushed, and an emotion in her eyes that Anders had been trying to avoid for both their sakes.

"You put yourself in that much danger to try to warn me…" she trailed off and stared at him dreamily, a mix of thoughts swirling through her mind, each more ridiculous than the others, until her thoughts devolved into something likely to be found in one of Isabela's trashy novels, filled with flowing hair, foppish poet shirts unlaced to the navel, and skimpy dresses in varying degrees of removal. 

Her daydreams were not interrupted, as she would have liked, with a passionate kiss, but instead by Anders awkwardly saying, "Um Elaine? I think your bacon is burning."

She jumped slightly and turned back towards the fire and her makeshift cook surface. "Oh shit!" she swore. "And I was doing so well at it for once," she added, almost wistfully. She was suddenly aware of the scent of camphorous herbs and spices she had come to associate with the healer lingering awfully close to her shoulder, and she turned her head to the side, turning a vivid shade of pink when she realized that Anders stood close enough to touch, if she were only brave enough to do so. 

"It doesn't look too bad," he said, snatching a piece from the pan and taking a bite. He paused in his chewing to say, "Mmm, hyup, still edible," and devoured the rest of the piece. He shot Elaine one of his trademark grins that set the butterflies in her stomach into a hurricane. "You still haven't answered my question, you know." He said, reaching for another piece of bacon.

"What do you mean? I told you, I…" Elaine began, flustered, as she dished out a plate of food.

"No, you said you were here because I was injured, but you know that elfroot salve is incredibly effective," Anders cut her off, taking the plate she held out to him and sitting at the table, watching Elaine with a gaze far more calm than he felt. He wasn't quite sure why he cared so much really, except that since he merged with Justice, Elaine had been the one bright spot in a world where he wasn't even sure of himself. "So, what are you doing here? After the way you left yesterday, I must admit I was surprised to see you here."

Elaine started wring her hands as she replied, "Oh dear. I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up."

"I hope it's not out of some sense of debt over what happened in the Deep Roads," he said, scowling as he stabbed a jam covered pancake with unnecessary force.

"What?! Of course it's not! I care about you Anders," Elaine snapped, adding to herself _No, that's a lie, I LOVE you, but you don't seem to understand or want that_. "I meant it when I said I wanted to be sure you were alright. And I cooked breakfast because I enjoy cooking, and because you need to eat more. You're skinny as a rail under that big fluffy coat of yours!" She pouted at him slightly and crossed her arms over her chest.

He was positively leering at her as he replied, "Ah, so you've been eyeing me and my big fluffy coat, eh?"

"No! Notreallymaybealittleokyes," Elaine stammered in response. She cleared her throat, fighting the urge to snog that ridiculously satisfied smirk off his face, even more so for the fact that there was elderberry jam, which had cost her a pretty penny, stuck in his stubble. "Well, how else did you expect me to bandage your wound? And I fail to see what your fluffy coat and my not-ogling of what's underneath it has to do with why you're so surprised that I'm here." _Hah! Take that you smug, sexy bastard_ , she thought as the grin slid slowly off Anders' face. And then she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as he fidgeted, all appetite seemingly lost for the moment, as he seemed to struggle with his thoughts. _He looks so lonely,_ she thought sadly.

Anders struggled to put his thoughts together in a way that didn't sound pathetic and needy. Somehow, _Well I kind of thought we had a …thing and that you were ok with Justice, but you ran off after that lovely hug and now I feel hopelessly emasculated_ , just didn't have the right ring to it. So he stuck with a more basic, direct approach and said, "Actually, I was more curious about why you ran off yesterday." He cringed as he realized how hurt his voice sounded.

Elaine flushed a deep pink and stared at the table, refusing to make eye contact for fear of further embarrassing herself, especially as there were no magical holes appearing in the floor. "I was… embarrassed. Such an… enthusiastic display was…" she waved her hand through the hair searching for the word. "Inappropriate for lack of a better word. Not to mention hardly ladylike and rather unbecoming."

Anders snorted, "Inappropriate? Elaine, you just found out your brother was alive after a year with no word. We hardly saw you for at least a month after we got back from the Deep Roads. I only saw you because your mother sent for me after you got sick and refused to do anything about it. And she got my name wrong at that." He shook his head, laughing slightly at such a simple, yet honest answer. "If that's inappropriate, I wonder what your definition of lewd is."

Elaine glowered at him briefly before retorting, "I would think everyone's definition of lewd is walking around calling herself Isabela. And about the 'Adam' incident; I told you before it was just a cold and Mother over reacted," Elaine smiled at him before attempting to stifle a yawn. "Besides, you got to eat some of her homemade stew, so it was worth getting called by the wrong name in my book."

"You do have a point there; your mother is a terrific cook. As are you might I add," Anders said, licking jam off his fork. "Speaking of which, why haven't you been eating with me?"

Elaine smiled and shook her head slightly. "I already ate. Your assistant Ayla was here and since she helped me get all the ingredients I didn't already have, she and I ate together. And then she said she had to go get supplies for the clinic, but that was well over an hour ago. I assumed she'd be back before now." Elaine looked concerned.

_Oh, Ayla, you sneaky fiend!_ Anders thought. Of all of the maybe 10 or 15 people he considered close acquaintances; none gave him more flack for his infatuation with Elaine than Ayla. "She probably got distracted by some shiny trinkets or by the hat shop Isabela showed her," he replied, grinning nonchalantly, while secretly wondering how best to get back at Ayla, for what was, clearly, a set up. _Bucket of ice water rigged on the door? No. Magical pantsing in the middle of the market? Possibly. Hmm, bonus points if that nancy Sebastian is there. Yes, I like the sounds of that_. Justice, did not however, and rankled at the thought of wasting energy on such a petty thing.

"I know that look. What are you plotting now?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at him and smirking.

"Me, plotting? I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, giving Elaine his best, most innocent "I didn't do it" look, making her giggle. He watched with admiration as Elaine divided out the massive piles of food she had made ( _Maker, who'd have known she was this productive. And what in Thedas is she going to do with all that food? I hope she doesn't think I could eat all of it. Well, I could, but that's aside from the point_.) and packaged them in little bundles of linen. "What are you doing?"

She smiled a bit shyly, tying off a bundle neatly with twine. "I had thought that maybe some of your patients could use some more food on their tables. I hope you don't mind since I did make a pretty large mess of your clinic. Sorry about that." She bit her lip and glanced at the tower of dishes she had made, and at the flour and sugar that were spilled over the counter she'd been prepping on. "I will clean that up, I promise," she added with a yawn.

"Did you sleep at all Elaine?" Anders asked, taking a bundle from her and tying it like a trussed up chicken. 

"What? No; what kind of healer would I be if a fell asleep on a patient?" she replied, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow, a smile teasing at her lips.

"You know, that could be taken in so many different ways, Dove," he replied with another leering grin as a blush blossomed across her cheeks. He sighed with frustration and concern as Elaine failed to stifle yet another large yawn, covering her mouth with her hand and giving him an apologetic smile. Although, he couldn't tell which he found more frustrating; how easy the simple pet name rolled off his tongue without a thought, or how she had neglected herself in order to better care for him. "You really ought to get back home now and get some sleep."

She shook her head, "I can't do that. Ayla still hasn't returned and I promised I'd clean up my mess. Besides, it's not like I couldn't catch up on sleep some other time." 

"Elaine. Please," he replied, gently prying the twine from her hands. "Ayla and I can get this mess. And at this rate, you'll end up one of my patients, keeling over from exhaustion. I know sleep has been difficult for you lately, but you shouldn't have that nightmare about Carver anymore. Won't knowing he's ok help you sleep at peace?"

"But…yes I suppose," she replied, staring at their still entwined hands. The pull in that 'please' spoke volumes in her mind.

Anders smiled at her, the urge to kiss her gently on the forehead near overwhelming as he released her hands. "Then go on home and get some sleep. And thank you for being such a diligent little nurse and chef." He winked at her and helped her gather her pack and remaining supplies, bought in the market the day before, and now mostly depleted. 

Elaine found it distracting and incited the exact opposite of sleep in her, the way their hands brushed as Anders helped her pack, the lingering glances he gave her, filled with a tender kind of longing that frustrated her to no end. But she was awfully tired, and feeling slightly defeated, headed up the cellar passage into the estate. Upon arriving, she flung her pack next to the writing table, mumbled a brief hello to her mother, and wandered into her chamber. She stripped off her dusty boots and robe, flinging them into the laundry pile and fell gladly into bed, not bothering to wash her face or comb her hair, still wearing her shift and her leggings and her very dirty socks. Anders had been right; she fell asleep quickly and dreamt of far more satisfying interactions with the object of her affections than loading her pack and eating pancakes.


	4. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During Act 2, Elaine and Anders have a somewhat fluffy but mostly angsty conversation. Anders' resolve is cracking and Elaine is stubborn as ever. Takes place after Visit Anders, but before Dissent (and most of the other quests).  
> Inspired by Christina Perri's Distance, a main song I have for these two goobers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROqTa1mn_qc

The clinic was eerily quiet when Elaine walked in. It was already half past eight in the morning, and although the lanterns were still unlit and it was dark inside, the door was unlocked. She set her basket on a table and called out, “Anders? Are you here?” Her heart hammered in her chest; surely if something had happened, she’d have heard of it up in Hightown, or at the very least from the people on the streets in Darktown, many of whom were patients at the clinic. She crept through the clinic a little apprehensively, her hands stretched in front of her to help her avoid running into something in the dim light. The door creaked open behind her and she yelped.

“Elaine is that you? What’s going on? Why is it so dark in here?” Ayla asked unfastening her cloak as Elaine sighed in relief. 

"Oh Ayla, you scared me!” Elaine said, wandering towards the petite red head. “I just got here. Do you know if Anders has gone out?” 

"Not that I know of. Lirene sent supplies over the day before last, so everything should be plenty well stocked,” Ayla replied lighting a small lantern. “Maybe he’s in the storeroom and just didn’t hear us. Anders? Helloooo!” 

Biting her lip Elaine replied, “I’ll go check if you want to ask people outside.” 

“Of course. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about though. If the Temp…I mean if something happened we’d know…” 

Elaine replied with a tense smile and a short nod before turning towards the storeroom, lighting a couple of lanterns on the wall on her way. She took a few steps in the storeroom before doing a double take as she passed the doorway to Anders’ room. She crept back to the doorway, where she paused with a soft smile on her face. 

Anders was sitting at his writing desk, or more accurately, had fallen asleep, his head on his arms, a page from his manifesto still sprinkled with sand pushed out of the way. A candle at the corner of the desk was burned to a barely flickering stub, and the uncorked inkwell was in danger of falling to the floor. 

_I told him he was pushing himself too far_ , she thought sneaking over to him on tiptoe. She blew out the candle, corked the inkwell and set it and the quill on a small shelf above the desk. Glancing at Anders she gently lifted one of his hands in order to stack the manifesto page with its fellows after she shook the sand into a little dish. Marveling that he had remained asleep during these ministrations and emboldened by her successes thus far, Elaine removed the patchwork blanket from his bed and settled it gently around his shoulders, darting away when he stirred slightly and muttered incoherently under his breath. She paused at the doorway, looking back at him as dust motes swirled in the sunlight breaking through cracks in the wall, filling the room with a dull comforting light. “Sleep well, love,” she whispered before pulling the curtain closed behind her. 

Ayla reentered the clinic at the same time, looking somewhat frantic, about to burst into indignant speech when she stopped at Elaine’s shushing gesture. “What is it? Why do you look like the cat that’s just caught the canary?” she asked as Elaine made here way to the front of the clinic. 

“He’s out like a rock,” Elaine giggled. “Which means I get full ‘I told you so’ authority. I _told_ him he need to get more rest, but noo; he was all ‘Grey Warden this’ and ‘Warden that!’ He passed out writing his manifesto even,” she added, throwing open some shutters before stoking the fire into submission. 

“What are you doing then?” Ayla asked in agitation. “Shouldn’t we wake him up or go home then?” 

Elaine shook her head, smirking knowingly. “We can open up and let sleeping beauty lie. If someone comes in that we can’t handle, we can wake him then.” 

“Are you sure?” Ayla replied grinning back despite her uncertainty. 

“Why not? I’m a healer and you’ve a good understanding of the medicines; I think we’ll be able to manage,” Elaine answered lighting the last lantern inside. “Come on, I need help with the lanterns outside,” she added throwing the clinic door open. 

The clinic was relatively slow and Elaine and Ayla had settled into a quiet, efficient routine when Anders woke up, startled. He sprang up, knocking over his chair and clutching his blanket to him as he sensed magic being performed in the outer room. He burst through the doorway snapping, “What’s going on here?!” without a second thought, looking around wild-eyed and slightly unkempt. 

Elaine, Ayla and the few patients and their family members looked up at him startled; one patient dropped the earthen mug she had been holding. “Well good morning to you too, sleepy head,” Elaine replied, barely hiding a mischievous smile. “Sleep well?” 

Anders, a bemused look on his face, his cheeks flushed from sleep and crinkled from resting on his shirt sleeve, answered, “Um, yes? Elaine, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you wake me?” He shifted his grasp on his blanket cape. 

“ _I’m_ helping people,” Elaine replied smugly. “And you needed the rest. Ayla and I have managed quite well so far. Why don’t you go freshen up and I’ll make some tea?” She added as Anders stared at her sheepishly while the pregnant woman she had been examining tried to disguise her giggles behind her hand and a poorly faked cough. 

Nodding mutely, he retreated back to his little nook, glad, yet again, that Elaine and not someone else had been occupying the clinic while he slept. _Maker, that woman is going to be the death of me someday._

The woman Elaine was tending to laughed and said “Ooh, he sure’s mighty keen on you messere!” 

Elaine blinked at her, startled, as she measured out ingredients for a tea to ease the woman’s false contractions. “Beg your pardon?” 

“The healer, he’s sweet on you,” the woman replied with a knowing smile, tapping a finger to her lips. “I reckon he’s got half a mind to make you just as full and heavy as I am here,” she added, patting her swollen belly. Elaine turned crimson and spluttered incoherently, failing to notice Ayla and a few others nodding in agreement. The woman’s husband whispered conspiratorially in Ayla’s ear, “Been saying that for years.” 

“Oh I doubt that very much,” Elaine stammered, still blushing profusely as she handed the woman the pouch of herbs. “Besides, I doubt I’d look nearly as fetching as you do in that condition,” she added with a wink. 

“Be that as it may,” the woman replied, obviously flattered, “you didn’t see the smile on ‘is face right ‘fore you turned round. I know that look. It’s the same look my dear Connor has been giving me for years.” She smiled at Elaine and patted her cheek. 

“Well…I… I’m sure he was just relieved, that’s all,” Elaine replied, suddenly aware of the small audience, which too quickly tried to look otherwise occupied. 

“Ahh, keep your chin up lass. I’m sure he’ll come ‘round knocking on your door soon enough,” Connor said with a wink, pressing Elaine’s hands in thanks before helping his wife waddle out of the clinic.. 

Momentarily struck mute, Elaine stood still, gawping before remembering she had said she would make tea. “Completely aside from the point…I never said…and not at all likely in the first place,” she huffed in annoyance as she filled the tea kettle with clean water and some mint leaves before settling it on the hook over the fire. She was so lost in her thoughts as she cleaned up that she jumped when Anders set the steaming kettle down on the counter next to her several minutes later. 

“You know Dove, tea is generally best when you don’t let it boil over,” he said cheekily, then seeing her startled expression, added, “Are you alright? You look flustered.” 

“What? Oh no, I’m fine. I was just a little lost in thought,” she replied, her cheeks burning as her patient’s comments ran through her mind. 

He eyed her skeptically, but shrugged before saying, “Okay… I suppose you owe me an 'I told you so’ or two.” He smiled at Elaine, handing her a chipped mug of tea as he leaned against the counter. 

“Well, if you don’t deny it,” she replied, blowing on the steaming mug. “But I’ll be nice and will refrain from doing so. As long as you promise to get more sleep in the future.” She winked at him before sipping the tea as Ayla finished seeing her patient out and wandered over. 

“I promise,” Anders replied with a grin, giving one of Elaine’s braids a playful tug. 

“Good,” Ayla announced, helping herself to some tea. “You scared us," she added before leaving to tidy up her own work station. 

“What does she mean I scared you?” Anders asked Elaine, helping himself to a scone from the basket she had brought. 

“Well, when we got here, the doors were unlocked, but the lanterns weren’t lit and the fires had all died down. And you didn’t answer us. I was worried that maybe…” Elaine trailed off shaking her head. “Perhaps in the future, you could lock the doors before you sit to work on the manifesto?” she said with a wry smile. 

“You thought tha…ah I see,” Anders replied. “Sorry for the fright Dove,” His eyes widened and he grinned wickedly. “So you’re the one who cleaned off my desk and dragged my blanket out! You sneaky little minx!” He gave a loud laugh, his eyes crinkling. “I should have figured as much; only you would be brave enough to go sneaking around me when I’m sleeping. You seem to have an odd habit of doing so.” 

Elaine flushed slightly but glowered at him. “Well it’s lucky I did or you might have burnt that last page of the manifesto,” she snapped. 

“Oh, you’re not a vicious little hawk at all, are you Dove?” Anders purred. “Taking low shots at a man where he puts his pride.” He leered at her and leaned in close. “You know, if you wanted a tour of my room, all you had to do is ask.” 

“Oh please, now you sound like Isabela,” Elaine scoffed, shoving him slightly. “I’m sorry my nerves made me go poking around where I didn’t belong, all right? Happy now?” she sighed. 

Anders leaned back against the counter, smiling contently. “Yes,” he answered. It wouldn't have been at all good if she'd snuck during normal nights, when her eyes or her smile, the sound of her laugh or the flush of her cheeks kept him awake and aching to hold her. Or when the memories of his past refused to be ignored; when Justice raged and he had to fight everything in him not to go destroy the Gallows or topple the Chantry. Yes, he would certainly be locking his door much sooner at night from now on, to keep her out; like he should be doing now instead of sitting, flirting over tea. A wall came crashing down over the glimmer in his eyes as he said, "You still should have woken my. What if Justice had come storming out here instead of me? Are you so intent on self-destruction that you didn't think of that Elaine?" He passed a hand wearily over his face as the consequences of his choices settled heavily on his shoulders. 

Elaine stiffened and inhaled sharply. "Yes, apparently I am," she bit out before setting her mug on the counter and squaring her petite shoulders. "One of us has to be," she added, failing to keep the wistfulness from her voice. 

A pained flash flickered briefly in Anders' eyes. "Elaine," he pleaded. "Please not now. I can't handle...It's just... I can't. You know that." He braced himself against the slump of her shoulders, the disappointment in her voice, the cracks in his own resolve widening, as he longed to wrap his arms around her when she answered, simply, "I know." 

She turned as if to leave, but in one fluid, rash moment, whirled back, rose up on her toes and murmured, "I told you so" in his ear. She scurried away, leaving Anders standing, downhearted, with the faint smell of her perfume filling the air around him. 


End file.
